Before you start

This one is stupid-simple.

Seriously, this one is so easy, you will think you are doing it wrong. It is also really hard to mess up. Even if you do mess it up, just toss it in a bowl, mix it up, and serve it as a dip.

What you need:

Cream cheese

Seasoning - Your choice. Doesn't even have to be our seasoning, but if you're going to do it, do it right.

A tray or dish, or make one out of foil.


That's it. Seriously.



Season the cream cheese.

Use the whole block, cold. 

Put a layer of seasoning on a plate or tray, or even just some foil.

Coat your entire block of cream cheese with the seasoning by pressing the block of cream cheese into the seasoning. It will stick nicely.

Heat the cream cheese - 250F for 2 hours. We put it in the smoker with our brisket, you can use your grill, or your oven.

No, it won't melt.

No, it doesn't matter if you are cooking a little hotter or a little cooler. 200-300F and you won't change it much at all.

No, it won't matter if you do an hour, or 4 hours.

Serve with crackers.

If you like it sweet, drizzle some honey on top.

Oh no! I screwed it up!

Most likely: No, you didn't.

If you try to transfer it from your foil or tray you cook it in and it gets all messed up, leave it that way, or put it in a bowl and mix it up. Lightly sprinkle some chives or any other garnish on top.

If you do actually manage to screw it up, send us pictures and a description of how. We really want to know.

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